December 2011
18 posts
My New Year's Resolutions
nicepants:
thetrifler:
Have at least one meaningful encounter with a rat in the subway
get a haircut
(per tradition) stay out of prison
Mine:
Get down to my birth weight
Memorize these lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WJFjXtHcy4
Wear false eyelashes at least four times
Mine: Yell less.
SECOND, I’M PATHOLOGICALLY LAZY. I have a form of attention deficit disorder. I...
– Jonathan Ames - The Mess I’m In - NYTimes.com (via iameryka)
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Whaaaa?
I just called the local pizza joint. ‘Cause the fridge is bare and we’re leaving town on Friday, that’s why. When I said I’d be paying with VISA, the dude said they don’t take credit cards! But they do take cash and CHECKS and that I can included my tip on the check!
What?